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I think that might be a problem that's deeper than just homeschooling.
Do they have the same behavior about other things besides the homeschooling activities? If so, you need to address respect and discipline issues in a much broader way than just for homeschooling. It sounds as is this is behavior they are accustomed to. If this is the only situation where they behave that way, possibly you need to look at what you are asking them to do. In my experience though, it was always much more challenging to teach my own children than it was to teach other people's children, even to just help them with homework. The teacher/student relationship is very different from the parent/student relationship.
That does not sound like a home school issue, but a parent child/teen issue.
There is more at play here; like maybe a power struggle?
Title: Boundaries with teens
Author: Dr John Townsend.
Sounds like you need to work on their hearts and attitudes before you begin actual school work. Try beginning the day with clearly stating your expectation for the day. If you are religious, use prayer for yourself and your children together. Because homeschoolers are able to get a lot packed into a day, start slow and build your days over time. Get their hearts first though!!
I had this with my son when we first started, and it turned out to be because he didn't understand my expectations. He's a perfectionist, and he tends to expect way too much of himself...and he tends to think that others expect that of him too.
I ended up getting him to try new projects by 1) doing them with him to start and 2) integrating things I knew he liked. By doing the projects with him to start, I was able to convince him that a paragraph meant a few sentences that go together, not a doctoral thesis ;-) By integrating things that he likes - say cooking, or a physical game - he was willing to try things that he wasn't too sure about.
It also happens that his learning style is completely different than mine; I am very intuitive and artsy, very visual, and he is very deductive and logical/methodical, very auditory and kinesthetic. This means that he has to have a firm foundation in whatever we study before he grasps onto it (otherwise he dismisses it as random information), and he needs to be able to "fit" the information into a category that he already has "set up" in his brain. He has to be able to see a pattern in what he learns, or he completely rejects it.
He also likes noise and movement, which drive me crazy, lol!
We came to a compromise; he'll stay quiet and still when I'm not feeling well or if I'm tired, in order to help me concentrate on helping him - I keep these periods fairly short and then leave the room so he can have some noise and movement.
When I am up for it (which is most of the time), I allow him to move quietly around the room and to ask plenty of questions in order to deal with the information. I also give him breaks every 60-90 minutes so that he can get up and move...this helps a lot with his cooperation and concentration.
Your kids may have a completely different situation, but the point that I'm trying to make is that if their learning style is different than your teaching style, you are going to come up against struggles because they don't see what you're trying to get them to do. It could be really fun, but because it's presented in a way different than they learn, it doesn't make sense to them and they fight against it.
It also helps to get them involved in deciding on the projects to begin with. You might be surprised at what they come up with! Also, if they help choose the projects and the method of work, they don't have a leg to stand on when they start to complain, and they know it :-)
Trust me, you're in good company. Many of us have come up against struggles with our kids! It's just a matter of meeting them where they are and not giving up. (Easier said than done, I know, but it is possible!)
I would suggest checking your local library (probably in the 365's) for some good homeschooling books. It's good to know that you're not the only one!
Our first year home schooling our youngest one challenged us and found out that it was a losing battle. Either you have control or they do. Be stern and strict. I didn't seek counseling or advice or a book because we are the parents and no one knows our children like we do.
When our youngest thought that his cheating and complaining would get us to give in we hid his games from him and the power cord to the Playstation.
We administered more home work for him and at times more physical training. people tell us that we're terrible, but guess what? Our children aren't obese and lazy, or yelling back at us or bullying others. They are very physically fit and intelligent boys and now they love the home schooling idea since we threw in incentives as well.
I am a lenient parent. I constantly battle with myself to create consequences and enforce them. My son does better with relaxed attitudes and atmosphere. It just boils down that I must enforce restrictions to his fun stuff because of him not doing the necessary stuff. It's tough, but his work ethic and academic skills are at risk, so I force myself to follow through.
How long were they out of school before you started trying to teach them at home? Typically it's a hard transition to go from being in public school to homeschooling unless the child is requesting it. You may need to do what is called deschooling. This is giving them a transition period, where they are allowed to just relax, then you ease them back into the idea of you teaching them. They're not used to you wearing the teacher hat as well as the mom hat, and they need to adjust to this. If this isn't the case, the answer is simple. Don't ASK them to complete an assignment. Demand it. Have them earn their privileges after their schoolwork is done. Also, give plenty of breaks in between... remember, you're not doing school at home. You don't have to push as much on them in one day as the school does. Even in upper grades parents typically do school for no more than 2 hours a day, that's all that's necessary when homeschooling and working one on one. Most importantly, if you feel homeschooling is the best thing for them, don't let them win. If they fight you and make it hard, and you put them back in school, then they've won, and next time they'll know (in any area, not just school) that all they have to do is fight and you'll give in. Make it fun, too! Have them do projects, but base it on their likes and interests. If one kid is into dolphins, build your projects and learning around dolphins. They'll be more apt to want to learn if it's something they find interesting. I think I covered all the angles here! Good luck to you.
That sounds totally normal to me. Especially since you said, "Back in school," which tells me that they were in school before you tried homeschooling them.
The first part of my answer to you is to give it time. It takes time for kids to change the routine, to have their mom suddenly be their teacher (whom they saw in a totally different way from their mom). It's also a testing ground, to see if you are really serious.
The second part of my answer is to change how you go about things. DON'T expect them to be happy about everything you do, but make sure they get something they do enjoy doing. Warning: sometimes kids pulled out of public school don't really know what they would enjoy doing because they've never really thought about it; everything at school was fairly decided or had specific limits.
Now, I've heard of some kids who were very ornery after being pulled out of public school and really balked at EVERYTHING their mom tried to interest them in. She gave up on that and just set a regular routine with stuff mixed in that she figured should interest them and they came around.
Love and patience and consistency. And reading some good parenting books doesn't hurt, either. ;)
i wouldnt home school them they will screw off
You might want to try a period of deschooling. Take them back out of school and take time to adjust to no school. Visit the library, museums, state or national parks, etc. but don't worry about formal academics until you all have had time to adjust to not being in school.
This is a time in which you can research curriculums and find a homeschooling group. Attend a homeschooling conference and get to know your kids learning styles. You can make up for lost "school time" later.
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