Answers:
The irony in trying in asking for how to "find" one self is that most times when it happens, you weren't looking for anything at all. Like, I spent ninth/tenth grade trying to hastily grow up... And while I thought I had found myself (the smooth, "sensitive artist), I really hadn't, and it took a random moment in grade 11 reading 'The Great Gatsby' to realize things about myself that no one else knew.
In other words: Don't try to force finding yourself. It won't help you.
And popularity? Pssh. It really doesn't matter. Just be nice to people in your classes (compliment them--most people, especially girls, cannot resist that sort of ego booster), and eventually friends/people will flock to you, and it will be the right kind of people if you play your hands correctly.
Hang in there. Life gets better.