What's a good quote that made u laugh?

Question:I'll start..

"I'm not prejudice, I hate everyone equally"

Answers:
"I always tell the truth, even when I lie."
Caption underneath a cartoon showing a mother looking into the dirty room of her child...

"You are sucking all the enjoyment out of motherhood"
someone sent me an e-mail and their signature at the bottom said " Lord keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand across my mouth"
You shut your mouth when you're talking to me
All generalities are false.
On a T-shirt - Roses are red, violets are blue;
I'm paranoic and so am I.
Save a skateboard, ride a skater.

if everyone treats you like a child, you might as well act like one and throw your tv out the hotel room window

cows go quack, ducks go oink, and pigs go moo

i was uncool b4 being uncool was cool

be a loser bc being cool is so overated

popularity is a social disease

i love you, you idiot

my brain doesn't work NEmore

G F ck Y rs lf
Would you like to buy a vowel?

b urself, everyone else is taken

i fucked ur mother

idk, my bff jill?




ok..i'm done
Do you know what the chain of command is? It’s the chain I go get and beat you with until you understand who’s in rotten command here.
-Jayne Cobb: Firefly-

or

Rosencrantz: Do you ever think of yourself as actually dead, lying in a box with a lid on it?
Guildenstern: No.
Rosencrantz: Nor do I, really…It’s silly to be depressed by it. I mean one thinks of it like being alive in box, one keeps forgetting to take into account the fact that one is dead…which should make all the difference…shouldn’t it? I mean, you’d never know you were in a box, would you? It would be just like being asleep in a box. Not that I’d like to sleep in a box, mind you, not without any air—you’d wake up dead, for a start, and then where would you be? Apart from inside a box. That’s the bit I don’t like, frankly. That’s why I don’t think of it…
Hey u think you can help me with the book to kill a mockingbird it seems like you know much about it
"You can't fight here. This is the war room!"
Dr. Strangelove

hila-rious!

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