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When life gives you lemons, stuff them in your bra.
I remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
"A witty saying proves nothing"
-Voltaire
"Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are good is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian."
- Dennis Wholey
"You got to be careful if you don’t know where you’re going, because you might not get there."
- Yogi Berra
"It’s easier to seek forgiveness than ask for permission."
- Proverb
"640K ought to be enough for anybody."
- Bill Gates, in 1981
"Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snake bite, and furthermore, always carry a small snake." -W.C. Fields
Bless us. O Lord.
For these Thy gifts which
We are about to receive.
And. Yea. Though I walk through
The valley of the shadow of no food,
I will fear no hunger.
We want You to give us
This day our daily bread...
And to the republic
For which it stands.
And by the power invested in me.
I pronounce us
Ready to eat.
- Amen.
Woopi Goldberg- Sister Act
Never threaten anyone...it spoils the surprise
ohh ohh or this one...i heard just yesterday..LOL
Doesn't Prince Charles look like someone kissed a frog and it didn't turn all the way?
ROFL
You will never be old and wise if you aren't young and crazy.
"If I wanted to hear from an @$$hole, I'd fart."
It's not easy to kiss the lips of someone who chews your @ss all day.
Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.
Ashleigh Brilliant
It's always darkest before it turns absolutely pitch black.
Paul Newman
I feel so miserable without you, its almost like having you here. Stephen Bishop
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it. Mark Twain
He has VanGogh's ear for music. Billy Wilder
Eat well, stay fit, die anyway. Anonymous
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