When life gives you lemons, stuff them in your bra.
I remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
"A witty saying proves nothing"
"Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are good is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian."
- Dennis Wholey
"You got to be careful if you don’t know where you’re going, because you might not get there."
- Yogi Berra
"It’s easier to seek forgiveness than ask for permission."
"640K ought to be enough for anybody."
- Bill Gates, in 1981
"Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snake bite, and furthermore, always carry a small snake." -W.C. Fields
Bless us. O Lord.
For these Thy gifts which
We are about to receive.
And. Yea. Though I walk through
The valley of the shadow of no food,
I will fear no hunger.
We want You to give us
This day our daily bread...
And to the republic
For which it stands.
And by the power invested in me.
I pronounce us
Ready to eat.
Woopi Goldberg- Sister Act
Never threaten anyone...it spoils the surprise
ohh ohh or this one...i heard just yesterday..LOL
Doesn't Prince Charles look like someone kissed a frog and it didn't turn all the way?
You will never be old and wise if you aren't young and crazy.
"If I wanted to hear from an @$$hole, I'd fart."
It's not easy to kiss the lips of someone who chews your @ss all day.
Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.
It's always darkest before it turns absolutely pitch black.
I feel so miserable without you, its almost like having you here. Stephen Bishop
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it. Mark Twain
He has VanGogh's ear for music. Billy Wilder
Eat well, stay fit, die anyway. Anonymous
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