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My 8th grade computer teacher would always come back with something stupid when kids asked questions or made comments. The two that I couldn't stand the most were:
a student says "dad gummit" and he would say, "Then buy him some teeth."
a student asks "where's it at?" and he would say "Somewhere between the "a" and the "t".
I don't know - I can't remember it !
**EDIT**
I can remember my favourite one though, from a friend of mine from Uruguay who used to say,
"When you see your neighbour's beard on fire, dip yours in water"
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