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A calm sea does not make a skilled sailor. (African proverb)
A camel is a horse designed by a committee.
A candle brightens the world around it. Unfortunately, it creates a shadow of its own. It still serves the purpose it is meant for.
A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle.
A candidate is someone who gets money from the rich and votes from the poor to protect them from each other.
A careless word may kindle strife.
A cruel word may wreck a life.
A timely word may level stress.
A loving word may heal and bless.
ur face looks like somebody tried to put out a forest fire with a screwdriver
i haven't had a C*nt all night drinkstable!
A man walk into a bar; what does he say?
"ouch."
A student told me hat one- I cracked up.
"When you were born they threw out the baby and kept the afterbirth"
is the best one liner put-down I've heard
'Don't piss on me and telling me it is raining.' Heard it from a film I watch a few weeks ago.
"do you belive in love at first sight?...
or maybe i should pass again.."
"It ain't a fit night out for man nor beast." (although I suppose that would only be funny for people that actually saw "The Fatal Glass of Beer")
"If in doubt, tell the truth"
or
"Sincerity, if you can fake that, you've got it made."
Both from American comedian George Burns
Mike Royko: "The French are Germans with good food."
Little fly upon the wall. Ain't you got no home at all?
Ain't you got no Mom or Dad? Cor Blimey ain't that sad.
"I do."
When I was born, I was so ugly the midwife looked at me and slapped my dad
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