Well his new teacher has been complaining that he is disruptive in the afternoons and wants him to be medicated at noon so she can handle him better(!) I asked how he was in the mornings, and she said that she doesn't have him - he's sent to a "resource room" for part of the morning! I wasn't even aware they'd done this, and it definitely accounts for his disruptiveness in the afternoons, he's in a completely different environment!
This is definitely NOT the 'least restrictive environment" for my son, who is very intelligent and can do all the 3rd grade work. He just needs someone to help him stay focused and provide some 1-to-1 instruction if needed.
I would demand an emergency meeting to reveiw the IEP. If your son has gone into a new school, especially if it is in a new district, this should have happened by now. Generally, when a child on an IEP moves from one district to another, the new districe must asses the child and the standing IEP for a period of up to 90 days. During that time there should be testing with the school psychologist, education assesments and observation by the special education co-ordinator and admin members. Once the assesment is complete, a meeting will be called to discuss the IEP and it's implementation. The only time this may not occur is if your child changed schools, but not school districts.
Irregardless, it seems they are not following the old IEP, and the only way they can do that legally is if a new one has been put in place. If there was an aide in the old IEP, he should still have until a new IEP is in place. As far as the resources room, my bet is they will argue that is where he is getting the "extra" support from. Again, unless his IEP is written specifically for him to be out of the class for that amount of time, again they are breaking federal law. As for insisting he is medicated at a certain time, the school has no power to insist on that under any circumstances.
Call the school, call the district special education office and demand an immediate meeting to formally challange their interpretation of the IEP, demand assesments be done and a new IEP written. Do not talk with the teacher. She is not in a position to change anything on her own and, at least from what you have said, seems to be a large part of the problem. Meanwhile, remind them they are bound by federal law to meet the standing IEP, as it is written, without any changes unless specifically allowed by you...and don't allow any!! I always advise the parents I work with to bring a copy of their parent rights, highlighted to the information that applies to the reason for the meeting, a notebook with any and all concerns (documented by date of occurance if possible) and an extra set of ears. As you are probably aware, you can bring in anyone you feel should attend the meeting. You can also, and I highly recommend, bring a recording device into the meeting. However, most schools will want at least a 48 hour notice that you plan to record the meeting so they can have a recording device of their own present and notify all the attendees of the intent to record.
I have spent the majority of my parenting "life" fighting too. And it never gets easier. We always hope that the school will step up and do what it is supposed to do, but deep down we know that even with the best programs, we still have to be ready to jump and growl when needed. I wish you luck...and know you won't need it!!