Answers:
I don't have to pretend I live in Canada and winter 's usually are like an ice age.
Frigid, colder than a brass monkey's balls, or a witch's breast, desolate and depressing lack of sun and warmth, nothing but white everywhere and slippery as a seal. Frozen tundra... you get the idea. It's so frigid your nose becomes white and frost bitten and the only warmth you feel is the muchus or snot running from it.