What can I say? Well, like most of my peers, I enjoy doing the usual things kids my age like. Some of the things I enjoy are going to the movies, going go-kart racing and playing video games. I think one thing that might seperate me from some of my peers is being in band. I am currently in the wind ensemble, and jazz band here at Coral Park. That is about it, I hope to learn as much as I can in your class, as I have heard great things about you and teaching.
Sincerely,
_______
Thx! :)
Answers:
That sounds good to me. Are you in band, or in the band?
I think it sounds pretty good, since it's a bit of a causal letter/note. I'd just fix one thing!
"That is about it. I hope to learn as much as I can in your class, as I have heard great things about you and teaching."
So, just make that first sentence in the quote, a separate sentence. ^^ It's what I'd do.
Dear Mrs.Menasche,
What can I say? Well, like most of my peers, I enjoy doing the usual things kids my age like. Some of the things I enjoy are going to the movies, going go-kart racing and playing video games. I think one thing that might seperate* me from some of my peers is being in band. I am currently in the wind ensemble,** and jazz band here at Coral Park. That is about it,*** I hope to learn as much as I can in your class, as I have heard great things about you and ****teaching.
*spelling error: separate
**take out the comma
***change the comma to a semicolon ( ; ) or a period to make it correct. It's a run-on sentence as it is. Also, just a style issue: change 'that is' to 'that's'
****insert the word 'your'
Good luck!
p.s. You might also want to reword the sentence that includes 'like most of my peers'. It's kind of redundant; it only makes sense that most of your peers would enjoy doing 'the usual things', you know?
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